It’s been an exciting and chaotic few weeks around our house. This week my son, Logan C. Geddes (aka Gteen1) graduated from Borah High School. On Sunday he turns eighteen. We have both received a lot of “congrats – you did it!” sentiments. So why do I have this nagging feeling the hardest part for both of us lies ahead? As I begin the process of “letting go” I find myself wishing I could hypnotize him long enough to teach him so many things we only learn from experience. Still, a MOM can dream so here is my dream list of items I wish I could say without inducing a single eye-roll or and “I know Mom, you say that all the time.”
1. Every decision has consequences both intended and unintended. Spend time contemplating your decisions in direct correlation to how much (or how little) the impact to your life will be. Perhaps an example here would be appropriate: a decision to eat pizza pockets everyday may have long term consequences, but in the short term probably isn’t going to do major damage (and I’m hopeful you outgrow it☺) However, a decision to drive a post through your lip in the name of fashion has significant long-term consequences. (I’m sure there must be benefits as well, I just can’t think of any right now.) My point is – think it through – do a list of pros and cons – make your decision – accept both the benefits and consequences of your decisions. OWN IT.
2. Bullet number two is a close sibling to bullet number one – You alone are responsible for your success and happiness. People in your life can add happiness but NO ONE can MAKE you happy – the good news is NO ONE can MAKE you sad either, unless you let them. You can learn skills from people, from books and yes even from the Internet (*little known fact some of the stuff they put on there isn’t TRUE!) but you and you alone get to decide how to apply those skills in your life.
3. You are going to screw up thousands of times – and it’s OK. Call your DAD ☺ I’m kidding! (well, half kidding). The point is the only way to learn from your mistakes is to make them. Don’t be so afraid of failure that you don’t try. No one I know has died of embarrassment, humiliation or failure. In fact, I think those experiences are some of our greatest learning opportunities. PS – this rule does not apply to stupid mistakes like jumping off cliffs or driving without a seat belt – those you actually can die from.
4. The early bird REALLY does get the worm. (if you weren’t asleep in your room at noon right now you would be rolling your eyes.) Let me see if I can put this into words that you can relate to…”If you ain’t first, you’re last!” (Ricky Bobby) – Ok, that’s an extremely exaggerated way for me to suggest that you do your best at everything you do – school, work, relationships…all of it. If you believe you can half ass it just to get it done - save your energy for something you have enough passion for to do right. If you are doing something you don’t care about, it will show. If you are doing something you do care about, it will show. **Note this advice is in NO way intended to mean you won’t ever have to do work you don’t love – view that work as purpose driven experience. (When that doesn’t work, try to remember I sweated my way through college in a polyester uniform that is probably outlawed in all 50 states now ☺ )
5. Money can’t buy happiness. Money can buy safety, security and all of the essentials for survival – but not happiness. Place value on money for what it is - a currency that allows you to eat, sleep, get on facebook, text your mother and drive your car around. Respect money enough to save some – and most importantly value other people’s money in the same way you do your own.
6. I will ALWAYS love you. I don’t know if this is the way all Mom’s feel but I’m guessing we get implanted with this strange hormone during pregnancy that allows us to love our children NO matter what. This means exactly what it says – nothing you can do or say or NOT do or say will change the fact that I love you. This DOES NOT mean I will always agree with your decisions, that we will never argue or that I will bail you out of bad decisions you make. PS – please don’t test this theory by joining an extremist group that barbecues kittens on Tuesdays or something equally abhorrent, ok? Also, if you become a Republican….I will still LOVE you.
Alright, that should do it for now. When I snap my fingers you will wake up and ask me if there is any chores I need help with today ☺
Enjoy this next phase of your life Son! There is no way you can attend Arizona State University in the land of sunshine and NOT have a bright future ☺
Love,
MOM
